Reading & Writing a Life

Carla Pineda's blog

Leave a comment

“Not simply visiting this world”:Sunset & the Owl

“Not simply visiting this world” is a line from Mary Oliver’s poem When Death Comes.  This last line of this poem resonated deep the morning I read it.  I want to stay awake.  I want to know what I want to do with “my one wild and precious life” (Mary Oliver) and how “to live the only life I have”.  (again, Mary Oliver)

Mary Oliver’s poetry inspires me, moves me, rattles my nerves somedays.  Her words vibrate a life energy, let me see things in ways otherwise unseen.  I am still wondering what drew me out to take a picture of the sunset the other evening.  I can see the edge of that time of day out the top of the kitchen window most evenings.  I just note it, go back to the stove or the sink and the sun sets.

But, this evening, something/someone moved me to grab the camera/phone and take several shots. Then and only then, almost as an afterthought, my eyes caught the tree branch and something more.  My first impression…a black garbage bag had blown into the spiny branches, still winter weather bare.

And, then, I saw her (I’ve decided she was a she) with a capital “S” saw her.  Was that really an owl?  Her head turned a slight turn and there were her two little ears, distinct as the sunset was orange and pink.  It was sunset and even though the sky was vivid colors the graying of twilight almost hid her.  She sat and sat, quiet and still, only once lifting herself to the next branch and then still again.

“Do not simply visit this world”….There are messengers, in places, and from voices we miss, right in front of us.  These voices are often quiet,  even silent, not loud, in your face, distracting voices of chaos or distortion.

Visit the world, awake and aware, of these different messengers (voices)….the sunset, the owl, the silence, the moon….

What do they have to say to you?  Who else speaks to you?

Leave a comment

Roller coasters, lemons, and lemonade

What a month!! The old saying, “when life gives you lemons make lemonade” comes to mind.  It has been a roller coaster ride; you know, fun, scary, unsettling, and now we seem to be back on the ground.  I have been to a fantastic women’s conference to help with a big booktable and to listen to inspiring and dynamic women from around the world.  My husband had angioplasty to clear a few blockages in his leg.  We have lived with his cardiovascular disease for about 12 years now; this was his fourth procedure to clear things up and actually (at least to me) the easiest to date.  This doesn’t mean it wasn’t scary.  No surgical procedure is risk free.  We laughed and called this one “drive through”…procedure one day, bounding up and down stairs 3 days later and back on the golf course in about 10 days (his marker of total progress!!).  Then, a change in job status.  We have been here before too.  Take a deep breath, don’t forget to exhale, put one foot in front of the other, and truly re/member about living life one day at a time and in the present moment has been my mantra of late.  Now, today an employment offer sits at the doorstep.  Details are unknown but we are grateful and hopeful.   Answers should come later in the day and tomorrow will be what it will be.  Maybe we’ll get to ride a leisurely horse and buggy and get to stay off the roller coaster for a bit. 

We all live in our own Book of Life.  They are written One Day at a Time.  Sometimes, actually most often, the way they are written depends as much, if not more, on the way we choose to see the events and happenings of our days.  Sometimes I only feel the roller coaster dips and swirls, feel only the fear and see only the lemons and taste their bitterness.  I forget that the dips and swirls can be freeing; even opportunities to see beyond the smallness I often get caught in.  I forget  that I can squeeze those lemons and add water and sugar to make a delicious, thirst quenching liquid.   Today I choose to re/member  life is bigger than the happenings I experience,  life is generally good and in the end “all shall be well”.